A clear sign that you have not yet forgiven is when you want revenge. Perhaps you want them to FEEL what they've done for you and think that until they feel that pain they have caused you, they don't understand.
Maybe you feel that remorse will help you have a better relationship with that person.
Do you really think it would make you feel better? Seeing the remorse in them will only remind you of your own hurt everytime you see them or think about them and that is no basis to try build a better relationship. You will merely make the both of you unhappy. It may seem worth it - but I promise you, it's NOT. It just makes it worse.
You will only be able to move forward once you have forgiven. You also know that you truly have forgiven when you can think of that person without any negative emotions surfacing. You will actually feel light and free - it's worth it!!! I waited for more than 10 years to forgive and feel like I have wasted those years.
I urge you - forgive. Don't waste time like me. Read the May 2007 posting on Forgiving for You.
Please let me know what you think.
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My Family
Blog for helping teenagers who struggle to handle bullies. Bullying causes a great many issues and could lead to physical harm and severe emotional distress.A survivor of bullying shares tips and insights into why this happens and how to cope with it. For more information, visit www.adigc.com
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5 comments:
hi
i don't really think that forgiving is always the best thing to do. i was been bullied and when it had stopped (i told a teacher at school) i became quite good friends with one of the boys who had been bullying me. We were quite close and i felt he had really changed towards me.
Then two days ago he started a rumour about me and was shouting things out in front of the whole class. it made me so upset that i had been close to him and he'd just thrown that rite back in a my face. Now the bullying has started again and it's all down to him.
It might work for some people to forgive but it has just made my life a whole lot worse.
Amy
I'm sorry to hear that Amy. I guess it all depends on the person. Today I am still being bullied tremendously - it's very hard to deal with daily with someone who lives in the same house as you. I see what really works is when she thinks that she got to me and I just keep smiling. She has actually told someone that she can't stand me being so happy all the time. Try it - it works! Don't let them see they are getting to you - EVER.
I'm a cating liaison for a feature production company! :D My sister is being bullied on her perfomance art course! The bullies all want to be actors! I'm going to blacklist them! If any of them turn up for any auditions in the future I will chuck them out! LOL! Community theatre for those LOSERS! LOL! I know I'm suppose to forgive them blah blah blah! but their not acting on one of my films! :D
Hello, I am having problems at school with bullying by this girl called Jazzmin (that's actually how you spell it!) She has not stoped bullying even when I forgive her. Like today, We were at Aranagi Course and she was planning to sing at me and push me off the tires, and guess what she did.. SHE PUSHED ME 1 AND A HALF METRES!! and I almost broke my neck and died! I'm only 10. I became friends with her when I started school then two moths later, she started calling me tattle tail and freckle face and pimple face and asshole I tried to forgive her, but she just kept on doing it. She also bullies other kids just like me, pretty, smart and caring. she doesn't have any friends anymore because shes now the main bully at my school, the only people that are her "friends" are actually "followers" not friends. I think forgiving is sweet for other people but it just made my whole life miserable.
From Erin
everyday in school i get bullied by ppl who r 4 yers older than mee
they be so mean and they wait for me at hometime
they push me in bushes and stff
i tell the teachers but they say they r to bussy to dela with anyhing
they make fun of me and follow me home
i am really inocent but teachers think it's alll a act
and aparatley the bullies are the good ones
it's not fair i am depressed at school and at the same ttime at home because my familey bully me to and laugh at me for having no freinds
they also make fun out of me
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