Are bullies happy?

I've had so many insights in the last week or so about the character of a bully.

For me, the worst thing about being bullied is losing face. It feels like they made me a lesser being by cutting me up with their words.

Someone said some really horrible things to me yesterday - all of it untrue and extremely venomous. I was HURT to say the very least. Even Wade was in a state and actually wanted to kill. After many hours and a migraine (I get many of those - I'll post a separate message on how to cope with that) we sat down and discussed it. That is not always easy, but you must discuss it with a supportive person. Do not brood on it.

We mainly discussed the event and the fact that this person had no right to say those things to me. During this conversation I tried to analyse it more and tried to figure out what pushed her to say those things and in such a way. There were a million different ways to get her point across - why did she do it so viciously?

I then realised the following:

1. She's an under-achiever and she's never been happy for good things happening in my life... in the 7 years we've known each other.
2. I'm also superior to her in the work-place and she's about 12 years older than me - she's obviously pushing the boundaries.
3. She doesn't add or take anything away from me emotionally or physically.

The above points 1) and 2) could cause a lot of anger and resentment. When you are angry you cannot think clearly and in a solution-oriented way and that is when you do and say really stupid things.

I'm decided that I owe her nothing and she only owes me an apology for the disgusting things she has said.

Yes, I know the above advice doesn't give you back what you feel has been taken from you or heal the "stab-wounds" in your heart - but if you let it fester inside your mind and heart it will take away even more from you.

Decide for yourself - is this person worth a migraine? If that's how they feel about you, they can't have a bunch of self-worth as it is. A friend once said that you should not urinate with skunks.

What's your take?