Friday, May 11, 2007

The Bully's side of the story

I've come to realise that bullies actually have a psychological problem which causes them to do what they do. The problem more than likely stem from a troubled upbringing, lack of attention, even abuse. The victim is often envied for their perceived 'great life' or possessions or relationships with parents or close friends, even their school performance.

Jealousy is a very toxic emotion which could easily spiral out of control.

If someone is jealous of you and bullies you, you should not let this stop you from living your life normally. Don't give over your power to anyone and don't let their jealousy get the better of your behaviour and self-esteem.

Remember they don't even realise why they do what they do and therefore they have no right to be in charge of you. Hard as it may be - keep going where you go and keep doing what you are doing.

Whoever envies another confesses his superiority. ~Samuel Johnson, The Rambler

1 comment:

David Cohen said...

The idea that bullying is the result of inner emotional turmoil is a tired myth that is long overdue for being put to rest. The fact is, bullies generally feel very good about themselves. Bullies see themselves as powerful people. The fact that they can get away with their bullying proves it in their minds.

It doesn't stop there though. Bullies often have a crowd of hangers-on to re-enforce their image of being powerful. Many of them are very good at manipulating the local authorities, further proof of their power. When they get to high school, the bullies are able to parlay their cockiness into success with potential romantic partners, further inflating their egos.

The problem, simply put, is not that bullies suffer from low self-esteem. Quite their contrary, their self-esteem tends to be grossly inflated, and coupled with a distinct lack of empathy for others. In short, bullies are narcissistic to some degree, often to a high degree.

And narcissism means never having to say you're sorry.